binghamton tragedy.

the soft music drifting from my headphones was overridden by the blaring automated announcement that we had reached penn station, surprisingly on time. as we chugged into the junkyard, the sun gently pried open my eyes from my 28 minute nap. by no means would this be the biggest eyeopener of the day.

i quickly ripped my way down broadway, ducking under awnings, plotting the best route to avoid the nasty weather, a brutal combination of wind and rain that left my face with a cold sting like teardrops on a raw winter day. reaching my office building was a warm greeting as the abnormally long elevator ride was not frustrating, but rather a breather. i arrived at my desk, placed my dampened sweatshirt on the back of my cloth chair, and plopped down prepared to work. my rain boots were still squeaking upon the floor as i tracked a trail of water behind me upon entrance. a loud buzzing emanated from my desk as my vibrating cell phone pitter pattered against the wood. a fine example of how i exercise the freedom of my unlimited, unbridled texting. like any good prospective PR student, and general citizen, i like to stay informed. and so the morning headlines i subscribe to through my phone began to roll in.

'gunman shoots at least four, holds over 40 hostage in upstate, ny immigration service center.'

as comprehensive as texts are, i investigated the situation further. for years, my hometown of binghamton, ny had lended itself to a picturesque childhood of pick up baseball games every summer day and manhunt games by night, with an optional dinner break in between. my heart began to race and my stomach began to sink with each mouse click. i discovered foundation of safety built upon a throng of neighborhood kids was now cracking. it was a five minute hop to a crime scene reaching national headlines.

the end results of this senseless act of violence that still stand with an unknown motivation were horrific. 14 dead, including the gunman, and four other victims lay in critical condition at the hospital. thankfully, the scene also witnessed 37 miracles as hidden hostages escaped, many running for cover in the boiler room. raw numbers indicate that the amount of survivors outnumber the amount of lives lost. yet the loss seems to weigh more.

unfortunately these small town, big tragedy complexes have been running rampant throughout the past few years--perhaps not as much in frequency as in impact. images of columbine and virginia tech flashed in my mind like those old cameras where you had to replace the bulb with each picture that you take. the conflicting reports from station to station were aggravating in the most trivial of ways. why did he do it? who is he? what kind of weapon? unless you are part of the investigation or a script writer for csi, these are questions that cycle in your head but ultimately do not matter. but what else can you do? there is nothing we can really do or say, so we recount tragedies past and replay the a scenario in our heads that we thankfully did not witness, letting our imagination fill in gaps that nobody should have to consider. our unsatisfied need for who was affected will only grow until answers surface. a BU college accounting major is rumored among the casualties. the numbers vary with each report. hell, tv stations were even reporting different amounts of gunman. but that variation of facts, (and the fact that the media still hasn't learned from the 2000 presidential election) doesn't change the blatant and disgusting disregard and disrespect for human life.

14 people got up to go to work today, and 14 people didn't comeback. others lay in hospital beds, clinging to the help of unsung heroes and love from surrounding family and community members.

some theorize that it's a result of economic stress because he was laid off from IBM recently. some say that the vietnamese-speaking gunman had immigration related issues. 5.1 million people managed not to take the lives of others after their jobs were lost during this recession. none of these theories derived from spin shows and the desperate silver lining seekers, self included, can justify what happened. all you can do is hope. pray. be thankful for the 37 survivors. praise the work of the rescue team. and count the blessings in your own basket too.

14 are dead in binghamton, ny. recently, there was an assault and robbery on a tree lined street in the quaint village of south orange. yet i frequent new york city and have never seen a crime. it can happen any where. it can happen any time. but it shouldn't.

live now. love now.
my thoughts and prayers.

-k.