stealing your v-day card.

'happy valentine's day. here's a TUMS with hug me written on it'
those chalk candies are so gross-good call jim gaffigan.

valentine's day can be one of those lose-lose situations. one one hand if you are single, you spend a lot of your time trying to avoid the ghosts on valentine's day past and sending facebook bumper stickers about hating Hallmark for acknowledging your loneliness. on the other hand, if you are with someone, there is enormous amounts of pressure to get the perfect gift like we really accrued a dire need for something since december 25th, or whenever your respective holiday is. PC blog.

thankfully, with the right perspective, it doesn't have to be a lose-lose. you can create your own wins with perspective. so this year, i decided not to drown myself in alanis morisette's music while watching chick flicks with a pint of ben and jerrys (or coors light)--which ALWAYS comes with a side of self-loathing. it's a valentine's day combo platter. not that any of those things are bad in moderation.

it is true that a 'special someone' can ignite an inescapable satisfaction that you can't get anywhere else and make you feel better than when you stand alone. and to those who are enjoying that, be happy. and keep in mind that it outweighs the flowers and chocolates and teddy bears and fancy dinners. and to those of you (and me) who aren't spending valentine's day with a significant other, remember that they are only so significant. this significance can't outweigh your own significance to yourself. ultimately, we must be our significant not other in order to love someone, at least if you are going to be healthy about it. as fun as it can be to get lost in someone else, that's precisely where you are when they walk away. you are lost. with no compass. no orientation. no direction. and nothing more than some shattered shards that don't fit back together the same way ever again. so we fill the gaps with our own personal grout, which, with any luck is composed of the strongest bond possible--the love and support of family and friends, and yourself. peppering a few trips to the bar, yoga, and other trivial activities always seems to pepper itself into the recipe as well. so have fun, and for god's sake, acknowledge the insane amount of good outside of romantic relationships that is around you--evening if no florist or greeting card store ever will.

and here's the music
for those in love:


for those moving on:


for those who don't know:


-k.