typically we anticipate that we will be our harshest critics. when someone else unleashes a verbal assault that is more harsh than even we can imagine, it can send us into a downward spiral of self-criticism. it is inevitable that we will all make mistakes. but how does one draw the line of simply making mistakes vs making mistakes that define you?
forgiveness is a difficult animal. it alters the relationships we have around us. Sometimes the mistake lines are drawn in a permanent ink, leaving indelible lines that are forever hurtles to jump, if they don't end the race right there. forgiveness is most difficult with ourselves. when we make mistakes, and we suddenly labeled into a specific category? are we "that guy?" if we don't forgive ourselves, we judge ourselves, and we cannot move on. i have made my fair share of mistakes, we all have, but i have learned to forgive myself. i cannot entirely erase memories, or pretend that they do not impact me. i would not want to. but i do forgive myself. if i did not, i would not prevent this horrid mistake that haunts me from happening again in the future. furthermore, i would not allow myself to have pride in correcting these decisions, or taking pride in anything that i do right in remote relation to the issue at hand. scars will remain. how you view yourself will change, too. but maybe this isn't such a bad thing. maybe there is something more to be said about someone who can make mistakes, learn from them, and forgive themselves, rather than not make any mistakes in the first place. it keeps us grounded. what a group of arrogant bastards we would be if we were not humbled by our mistakes.
embrace your wrongdoings.
-k.
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