today i saw a bird fly straight into a metal beam at the train station by my apartment. i think his beak chipped off some of the green paint that was rusting away anyway. i thought he was unconscious. i thought he wasn't going to make it. i thought his wing would be broken, or his beak smashed in.
but he popped up wit the same pep that he flew into that beam with--chipper--hopping around, and ultimately flying away from the situation entirely.
if only we could be so lucky. if only we could crash and burn with such vigor. if i crashed that hard, if i ran into a huge obstacle so blatantly, if everyone thought i was done for, if my very consciousness was being questioned, could i get back up? could i hop around with the same intensity that i had entering the situation? or are we bound to the laws of physics so that the energy must transfer away from us? is it possible to fly away from the situation without hesitation, escaping completely unscathed, or at least appearing so to all observers? maybe the damage is inside.
i hope some day i have the courage of a bird. i definitely didn't start the day saying that, and i don't know if i am ashamed or proud to conclude my day this way. maybe i will know better when i encounter my next steel beam.
-k.
today's music:
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