short changed.

it was much to my dad's relief that Continental airlines not only continues to offer free plane food, but now provides outlets for businessmen and screaming infants alike. i dropped him, or rather mildly stopped and had him tuck-and-roll, at/onto terminal C for a five hour flight to phoenix. after a courtesy stop, i love you, and a hug from the back seat that was obstructed by the passenger side headrest, i rolled straight through, back on to the buffet of highways that newark airport feeds. so, giving blondes and upstate new york drivers alike a bad name, i hopped on to 78 east, realizing that i not only was driving in the opposite direction of where i should be headed, toward BAYONNE of all places, and the holland tunnel, but that i now had to pay a toll for my suave step. which was clearly God's way of saying "you're an idiot and NJ has a lot of construction to pay for this summer."

as i cranked my mp3player and deciphered which lanes were EZ pass only, i was swearing at myself for my bonehead move as well as the Ipod gods for toying with my emotions. i also frantically rummaged through my cup of change as each silver circle with george washington's face was a little answered prayer. i scoured the car for extra quarters, knowing that my STUPID move was also going to cost me on the way back.

this unexpected detour lead to this unexpected blog about short changing myself. like many twentysomethings, i split my rolls of quarters between laundry and car tolls. but do wrong turns lead to us short changing ourselves? i wrestle with the concept of "but i'm young and stupid," because soon enough i won't be that young, and despite my inability to adjust to new jersey driving, i would like to think that i am not that stupid. is this little trap called adolescence really such a huge period of growth, or is it a period of time where we just pretend we are too young to know better than we really do? maybe recognizing this is the growth part, but then in the end, it's certainly still taking it's toll, and you can bet it's with exact change. and it will probably be for like, $1.10, but you only have quarters, so you end up overpaying. the difference between the metaphor and my literal STUPID move is that in the metaphor, we actually short change ourselves by over paying. in the literal version, new jersey makes an extra 15 sense off of my unintelligent maneuver. shallow victory for you, corzine.

grappling with the line of acting your age (or sometimes, well below, because i relate WAY too well to that asher roth song,) and it blocking your potential seems to be a fairly constant battle at this little stage of life. guilty pleasures are in fact supposed to carry a level of guilt, but why indulge in the first place when we know better? we do know our actions, especially in young go-getter mode, are supposed to bring us closer to our goals rather than block them. a financial guru who incited my hatred for credit cards says "children do what feels good, adults devise a plan and stick to it." true, but that sounds kind of boring. we all want to be young and have fun, but who says where the appropriate boundaries are? i think that's where the growth part is, but i'd rather there be handbook. or at least a stupid ticket that tells you how much between exits.

life has no EZ pass, but thankfully, major highways do.
one remedy down.

-k.


Now playing: Billy Joel - Vienna
via FoxyTunes