the blindside.

being blindsided sucks.

it's always rattled me to the core. not the movie the blind side, i never saw that. i hear it was pretty good. and it sucks that Sandra Bullock got blindsided shortly after her oscar win with her tiger-woods-wannabe-but-more-nazi-like husband's affair.

speaking of award winning movies, for some reason Forrest Gump's line " momma always said 'life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get'" really resonated with everyone. i think it's just how a retarded kid's mom tries to explain "shit happens" through metaphor. it's stupid, because you usually know what you are going to get in a box of chocolates. like it'll say on the front of the box or somewhere inside. but the intentions are good.

life brings about surprises, good and bad, of different magnitudes. but for some reason, no matter how small the issue, feeling like you are being ambushed can dislodge the clearest mind set and incite unnecessary anxiety. those key phrases ring so loudly, like "we need to talk" or "i have to tell you something--don't worry--it's nothing major." i love surprises. i will organize surprise parties like party city is going out of business. but when someone says "i have a surprise for you," and doesn't immediately resolve what that is, i want to punch them in the face. even when it can only be something good. i hate the feeling of just hanging there by a thread and waiting for the relief of it's snap. whether good or bad, i still feel like i'm a nervous patient in a doctor's office with sweaty palms and my eyes darting around the room trying to distract myself from looming test results. or the inevitable break up talk you know is coming, and it's just a matter of which one of you the vibrations of relationship tension will buzz first.

it's funny when the delivery of news can outweigh the idea of magnitude itself. having an explosive amount of news overwhelm you, or lingering, dangling news that you can't break the surface of chews at you like acid rain eating away at limestone. like an unwarranted high five, don't leave me hanging.

-k.