gratitude things.

if you haven't read "Lindsay Says Yes" you totally should. there's a link to it in my "stuff i like, too" column. she's a great friend of mine, and she's the most thankful person for everything in the world. sometimes i have to remind her it's okay to feel feelings that aren't strictly gratitude. she wrote a list of things she was thankful for in 2010. as i venture into the terribly lame world of unemployment, i find myself both wanting and needing to be thankful for the little things. here's my top ten list of things i'm super thankful for recently (in no particular order):

1) my family: as i'm writing this blog, my sister is laying next to me and we are watching Craig Ferguson. we act really weird, but we think we're really funny and that's all that i really care about. it's as if we're on the drug known on the street as "Charlie Sheen." she's a pretty awesome sister for a bunch of reasons. she's extremely supportive of me and herself is a pretty amazing example of a heroperson. my parents are pretty great too. they help me navigate my 20s but leave the sea open to my own exploration. also my mom is really good at knowing when you need those little things like Valentine's Day cookies or to cry for no reason and my dad is good at dealing with my mom and sister's overexcitement at the Oscars and helping hang stuff up in my room. my family has been through a lot but now we're a big happy Taylor Swift song. even my extended family is superawesome. they are a much needed added flavor to life. both of my parents are one of seven, and my extended family extends love, light, and support really far with beaming cousins who radiate fresh energy and life and mindful, sincere aunts and uncles who respectfully interject their insights. friends; you're my family with a twist. it all applies, you're along for the ride in a different way.

2) manicures/pedicures/new shoes/wedding shows: i put these together because they all make me feel like a princess and i only have to spend about $20 or less on them. getting my nailz did usually involves a massaging chair and nail polish colors that look like the color scheme of a nine-year-old girl's room, unless that nine-year-old girl is me because my walls were covered in posters of the Bernie Williams and Paul O'Neill. also, my aforementioned awesome parents understand that being supportive means buying me some stuff when jobs don't work out (in addition to the manicure/pedicure). hello divine pink suede peep-toed shoes with a three inch that let's me stomp. it. out. sometimes, these things are just necessary. like the black pair sitting in the top of my dresser that i have yet to wear because there's been no occasion. this means i'll probably go over dressed to a comedy show or wear them around the apartment when i'm cleaning unnecessarily. after all the shit talking i did to Carrie Bradshaw in my previous post, i have to hand this one to her. i promise i won't be wearing a see thru shirt with a bright colored bra or a weird feather thing in my hair next time i'm out on the town desperately looking for men. i won't be doing either of those things ever actually. and wedding shows! what an amazing distraction. why yes, i do want to watch a bride with a subpar wedding pick out giant dresses shaped like pastries and a new cake and bridesmaids dresses and see the reception venue of a wedding i'm not going to. how am i so touched by the vows of people i don't know? oh wedding shows. thank you.

3) ZocDoc.com: oh my goodness i can make doctor's appointments and not call anyone?! thank you God and technology and doctors that are on this magical wonderinternetporthole. i have had more relationships with dermatologists than boyfriends in my life time, and the best one i've ever found in the whole wide world came from this site. i didn't even have to call anyone on the phone. they even remind you when your appointment is. it's like having a personal assistant for your appointments without all of that obnoxious human interaction (a deeply valued and underrated part of society but not in the context of doctor's appointment making). it's great because i'll never be important enough to have a personal assistant.

4) nature in nyc: i love outdoorsy things in New York City. it's like these misplaced pieces of nature that make total sense somehow. i went to Central Park, Prospect Park, and South Street Seaport spontaneously in the past 72 hours because not being in chaos sounded like a healthy thing to be doing and it so was. it's hard to feel like you aren't wasting time in New York City if you're not on your way to "be doing something" while also texting on your phone with one hand and carrying a Chai Tea Latte in the other. taking a naturebreather is the biggest not waste of time ever.

5) music: duh. this city is full of amazing music that not a lot of people know about. check out Hank and Cupcakes if you want to dance your ass off or Bryan Fenkart if you want to feel feelings. Bryan Fenkart was a writing God to me turned friend and WWE pay-per-view provider. i'm now on his management team. March 7-8 i get to stop by the recording booth and his second album/a bunch of my dreams unfold. megarad. other music i'm addicted to at the moment: frightened rabbit (my backwards walk is UHMAYZING), mumford & sons (duh), adele, the weakerthans, wakey wakey,virginia coalition, the weepies, eric hutchinson, anna nalick again), ari hest (always), band of horses, LCD Soundsystem, city and colour, fleet foxes, los campesinos, lisa jaeggi, matisyahu (coming the BK bowl), thriving ivory, brandi carlile, and the walkmen. to name some.

6) c.c. sabathia: my only pitching hope for the New York Yankees this year. 'nuff said.

7)reading and writing: writing is my favorite ever. i write about a lot of stuff like life and relationships and addiction and music and stuff, but i don't really write about writing. ca-thar-sis. boom. writing is super therapeutic. i try to write everyday--song lyrics, a blog, poetry--even just a sharply intentional sentence that might be used some day. writing rushes the emotional floodgates providing an unmatched release and unparalleled sensation. you can even write through emotions, driving your way through unknown forests of the mind and heart, arriving at destinations with conclusions you never would have sought otherwise. hey writing, thanks for being an art.

reading, i wish we had been friends longer. my parents always read to me when i was little, and i read as an adult, but i can't help but feel i'm still catching up on those in-between years where i viewed it as a chore when i was younger. i have a cousin who reads and reads (and reads and reads) and always has and will never stop. she's way cooler than i am in this regard, and can probably give you (and will give you) better recommendations than i ever could, but here is my top five within my top ten (my shirt before the shirt for you Jersey Shore fans).

1) anything by Kurt Vonnegut, particularly Cat's Cradle, Slaughterhouse V, or anything that has his name on the cover. show me a reader who doesn't like Vonnegut and i'll show you someone whose opinion is wrong. you probably didn't know opinions can be wrong, but come on. he's TOO good.

2) Sex, Drugs, and Cocoapuffs and/or IV: a decade of curious people and dangerous ideas. both have been nothing short of awesome. anything Klosterman seems to write is a solid choice but these two are my favorites. plus he talks about how he hates Rick Helling in "IV" and so do i.

3) This Is Your Brain on Music: this book is about the neuroscience behind music and it's amazing. i'm awful at science and hate it, but this book is awesome. read it. it's by Daniel J. Levitin and he's really smart.

4) Craig Ferguson: American on Purpose: this is so much more than a biography. it's the only account of anything that explains addiction to someone that isn't an addict or in the close circle of one. you're doing yourself a disservice not to read this book.

5) the curious incident of the dog in the night time: an awesome book by Mark Haddon written from the perspective of an autistic child. Haddon combines the struggles of every day life and the story line through this lens. it's pretty rad.

8) egyptian art: it's the most amazing, powerful art. i didn't appreciate how strong it was until i took an art course in college. go look at some at the Met and REALLY look at it. it's so different from any other time period with sharp lines and square edges and power stances. it's like they carved pharaohs doing power yoga or something. besides if you're board you can go play in the giant tomb at the Met or check out how they invented the wheel or something. while i'm discussing art, check out Alex Grey (www.alexgrey.com). free subscription to this blog if you aren't amazed/immediately want to get his work tatooed on your body somewhere.

9) horoscopes: okay i don't know if i believe they true. but i don't believe they 100% aren't so it's fun to look at them every day. i'm not going to live my life by them, but if they fit the life i live, then it's just fun to think about. it's like a fortune cookie without the $20 worth of Chinese food arriving way too fast. i can get mine tweeted to me every day, so why not? besides, i'm a Taurus and totally stubborn, so don't try to tell me they aren't true and that it's a waste of time.

10) dogs: i don't mean those little rats on a leash that dress better than i do and are being toted around in someone's Louis Vitton. i mean like a real dog! like a golden retriever or a bull dog or a huskey or those english sheepdogs that can't see. basset hounds are the only small dogs i really like because they have so much personality, but for the most part, give me a big dog. one that the E*TRADE baby would try to ride.

there's my top ten things i appreciate in life always, but am really feelin' right now. you've been gratituded.

-k.