if i had a dime for every victim that i met...

"you can bet that i would never be in debt..." -Bryan Fenkart, "Okay"

if you're reading this blog, you have access to the internet, and probably to your own computer, and maybe even a smartphone. you're likely sitting in an IKEA chair or better.  you have a roof over your head, you get your three square (or more) a day, and clean water readily available via Brita filter, Aquafina, or God forbid even the tap.

there's a trend--neigh--a disease.  no, an epidemic.  it's taking up far too much space in my life and Facebook news feed.  millions are victimized daily by deep and meaningful,  Jack Handy-esque status quotations that directly linked to drama you've started. nobody thinks these are mature observations of life on your behalf simply because they're vague. this epidemic is then spreading to your incessant playing of Mafia Wars and Farmville and other applications that allow you to create a virtual life rather than acknowledge the issues in your real life.  then, in the final stages of this disease, it becomes "complicated,"  a malignant word that keeps popping up all over your profile, and can even overtake your relationship status.

and that's just Facebook.  real life is even more complicated because you can't just uninstall whatever simulated life you're messing up AND it's real life.  also it's not that complicated. everything that your mind can engulf (and more) falls into two categories: that which we can control, and that which we cannot control.  also, no matter how unique you believe your experiences and pain are, someone has been through them before, and someone has been through worse.


in college, i went to my first al-anon meeting, a support group for friends and family of alcoholics.  i felt proud that i was trying to take this action. i felt brave and strong and scared, but i was determined to do it anyway.  i was paralyzed in fear when i realized i had actually sat down at an AA meeting, and couldn't get myself up to move.  with my blown up emotional investment starting to deflate, i decided to make the best of my surroundings.

the value of this humbling experience could not be measured. i, who was so courageous to attend an al-anon meeting, sat through trials of people facing far worse than i; people that take our glimpses of near death experiences and have live them magnified for months and even years; people that wanted to die from what was haunting--even in that moment of sharing--and were still committed to the idea of wanting to live; people who had died emotionally, one even physically who was brought back to life, and were doing everything in their power to be born again.  on a far grander scale, these people were doing (on a daily basis) what i was trying to do just then; taking the actions necessary to get out of your own way.  the heroic twist being that they are addicted to their barrier, doing everything in their power to hurtle over it.

it's said that when you're a child, you are a victim. when you're an adult, you're a volunteer. drowning in a sea of excuses become inexcusable. accepting yourself at less than your best is accepting the unacceptable.  because we are full of that which we cannot change, and that which we can, we need to understand that happiness is both a decision and a circumstance. those who do understand this can see through your bull shit, and nobody cares. that's not to say you can't vent about things, or take time to process them, but there's a threshold when action is all that matters. action will move you forward. action is progress.  if have the capability to drive through your problems, it doesn't matter if there are open roads and blue skies.  not taking action means you aren't willing to work to be happy, and i offer no sympathy for that, regardless of your broken relationship, weight problem, finances, job that makes you miserable, or friends you're unhappy with.

in matters where we cannot change the circumstance, we have to find resolve and acceptance.  where it does not come naturally, we must seek it out.  this often means you need to get your ass to therapy. and use it.  you can masquerade in therapy for years.  a therapist will just as easily talk about the weather with you as he/she will talk to you about the nitty gritty.  you have to get real with your thoughts, flaws, and fears, and be willing to attack them.  in this regard, risk always has the possibility of hurt, but i'd rather take risks of what may hurt if it leads to unbridled raw happiness than straddle a safe line between content/discontent.  it's a process that needs to be respected.

you have to let denial JUST be a river in Egypt.  in fact Egypt was unhappy with their government and rioted their monarch out of power.  you don't get more proactive than that.

rise up.
-k.