for bryan :)

a reoccurring theme in this blog is relatability, which to me is the key aspect that distinguishes good writing from meaningful writing.

i grew up in upstate, NY in a small town you probably haven't heard of. if you have, you probably drove through it on your way to Canada or you are a Mets fan who is obsessed enough to know that part of your farm system is located in Binghamton. i go to Seton Hall University, about 25 minutes outside the city which is 3 hours from my very normal parents and a 25 minute train ride to my creatively gifted sister in the City.

like everyone, i struggle. especially us twenty-something year olds.

my teenage years were tumultuous at best. i muddled through a rocky terrain that included more than acne, social awkwardness, and inconceivable chemistry equations, although they were all too present. but what occupied most of this awkward stage was a heavy dose of difficult life lessons, which were treated with hard pills to swallow. rape, cancer, alcoholism, betrayals, family feuds. i forced most of my energy on coping, which is a really great way to become exhausted afterwards. i had to be the one to keep it together, to be the caretaker, to make everything as easy as possible on everyone else, no matter what sacrifice it meant on my end. and of course i knew the right way to cope. i was twelve years old after all.

years later, i found myself trying to climb out from under the bus where i threw myself so many years prior. where is the line between sacrificing for others and sacrificing yourself? it is hard, and damn near impossible to correctly straddle this line, and if we lose our balance, our downfall can spiral for what seems like an endless length of time. but i promise you we land. usually bloody, with some broken bones and bruises. but we land and then we heal. i have the scars to prove it. they are alongside the scars from my stupid acne.

i often wonder, is there really a difference between the emotional maturity of a scared seventh grader and a twenty-something year old with no obstacles to over come? i feel like there isn't, which is why i would redo everything in a heartbeat if i had to. growth keeps us honest, it yields pain, but most importantly growth defines you, 12, 21, or 112. it is how we cope with these experiences that keep us human. it's creates the threads of relatability that keep people connected. otherwise, wouldn't we all be impersonal, out-of-touch robopeople? like a giant societal text message. no amount of "easy-going" is worth losing the ability to be personal. i don't think you can live a truly satisfying life if you can't relate to people. maybe that's why i'm a PR major.

if only "baggage claim" was as easy as it is at airports. we wait a little while, go around in a few circles, and eventually lift the load and unpack. and the really lucky ones can stow their baggage away.