as i stumble through facebook's most recently update profiles, several relationship statuses say "it's complicated with..." many of these are jokes.sSome of them are serious question marks on where two people stand.
the question is should there be any other status? whether someone is in a relationship, or just dating someone, or just friends that hooked up, or even just friends, what relationship hasn't suffered through complications? some of these complexities are necessary, often times necessary evils, that you have to fight through in order to maintain the dignity of both the relationship and ourselves. some of these complexities simply do damage and have seemingly no silver lining.
perhaps the most complicated aspects are those that go unspoken. all of the feelings that we do not serve to people on a silver platter can make things even more complicated than when these feelings are on the table. furthermore, if you do have a "complicated" past, and you do not speak about what has transpired, the giant elephant can outgrow the room that it is in---a room now with corners that are busting from awkward tension. even the most simple and effortless relationships have are greeted with complications. simplicity is it's own complication: why is it so simple with some and not with others? what is catch? when will the simplicity fade away as it always seems to and ultimately give away to the over analysis and questioning that plagues us?
it is not a matter of if these complications will arise, but how you persevere from them when they do. if someone gets hurt, can you genuinely give them another chance with out seeking the slightest bit of revenge---or if the cuts run deep enough, have we crossed the proverbial Rubicon?
in an effort simplify things, we try to cut things off with them. instead of exhausting ourselves through the efforts that help your relationship bloom, we can cut things off at the root of the problem. no contact, no complications. but they are still in your mind---perhaps now more than ever. even when specific people are blocked out of your life in an effort to prevent complicating things, their very absence makes things complicated.
the complications in regards to the relationships with ourselves? well, that's a whole other blog.
maybe "it's complicated" isn't such a bad place to be in. these complications ultimately allow ourselves and our relationship to grow. no matter the depth of the complexity, it helps to form a path, which is a price worth paying in the end.
-k.
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