perspective check.

so my last blog was a product of self-frustration and quite possibly PMS.
both of these things can make you lose perspective.
a lot has happened since the last time i blogged.

nothing like a devastating tragedy to make you stop whining about how difficult your uppereast side, roof-over-your-head, food-on-your-plate, loving-family-and-friends, life is. granted in my last post i wasn't taking any of these for granted necessarily--i mostly just lost sight of how awesome i was, which IS a devastating tragedy. but sorting through the aftermath of the earthquake in Haiti makes those insignificant frustrations with yourself and your life disappear. whether it's an introspective self loathing or that asshole on the 6 train who wants everyone to hear whats on his Ipod, you suddenly realize how very meaningless it is in the wake of tragedy like what happened in Haiti. it's amazing how close to home something can hit when you are nowhere near the devastation.

i logged onto Facebook earlier that day to see a variety of reactions, virtual prayers, etc. and saw a lot of hope. but i also saw that someone asked how people can believe in God when something like this happens. there were a lot of responses. some said that it was like a noah's ark situation. the country was in such dire straights that maybe, somehow thru the midst of all this pain and the fog of grief, the people of Haiti could rebuild a clearer image of less poverty and more prosperity. the obvious response is, why did this have to come at the cost of dying children and innocent people? is that really what it takes to get the rest of the world to listen? maybe.

i don't know why this happened. i can't say for certain that there is a God, but all the blessings in my life indicate that there is. i can say with some confidence that muddling through something like this, whether you are directly effected or not, is to stop trying to answer those questions and look for the love. look for the positive. the silver lining if you can say there is one. nations listened and responded. miracles were born. the strength of many people was tested. many passed with flying colors. attention was called back to our every day heroes of rescue workers rather than the idolized Lady GaGa and Reggie Bush (no offense to either). sometimes the world needs to stand still and breathe. sometimes we need to do that individually as well as collectively.

the next perspective check is i was "let go" by my job. apparently, the economy? not so great. i'm not saying this because i'm a republican (at least that's not why entirely) but the media is totally lying--it's not getting better. because *i* don't have a job. if i was saying this because i was a republican, i'd mention of they portray a disgraceful left wing bias on TV media. but i'm not.

anyway, whenever you move on from a job opportunity, that fresh start mindset kicks in, similar to when you started that job in all likelihood. outside of the stretch in the summer when i was looking for this job, i haven't really been unemployed since i was about 16, so this is weird for. between high school jobs, internships, and student working at school, i've always been 'employed' in some regard. so it's back to the drawing board. i always get in trouble when i have time to think, which is why i like staying busy. but if i didn't view this as an opportunity to have time to take care of myself, this whole blog would be riddled with hypocrisy. which is lame.

another window closed, another door opened.

-k.