If I say something, hear what I say...

"cause my words have meaning, and that's the truth." -H2O, My Friend

I took a political science class in college, and I know my professor was amazing because I didn't know where he fell on the political spectrum until he told us at the end.  He was a master of teaching us the science part.  It seems our politicians and media have forgotten this.

The leaders of a nation are going to face problems that require solutions with measurable results.  They are also going to face issues that don't have a definitive right/wrong, bad/good dichotomy.  This is why politics is a world of both facts and emotions.  Two dominating political viewpoints (unfortunately) have arisen and dominated our government, expressed through the democratic and republican platforms.  Please note those are intentionally not capitalized for a reason.

I loved that political science class because I bought into the pipe dream that the political world consisted of different problem solving method, and that amazing national breakthrough could be accomplished by differing opinions.  This seemed like a reasonable belief at the time because the idea that progress can exist BECAUSE of our differences is visible in many other areas of life, like business, and relationships.  I don't know many couples that have never had a fight, and most of them will tell you that they've come out better for it.  Progress is often born out of challenge.

But I woke up from that pipe dream and realized that politics is a nightmare; an arena of yelling millionaires who are more concerned about pushing their opinion on everyone else and getting their agenda across than actually solving a problem.  A bunch of people with a bunch of money, who in the words of Billy Joel have "their fist in the air, and their head in the sand."  When your ears are full of sand, it's really easy not to listen to anyone else.  The volume of political voices has become greater than their message.  Both sides are guilty of this.  If you want to terrify yourself, watch a Sean Hannity rant or crazy Howard Dean's speech.  On mute.

And how many of our politicians and (political enthusiasts) teach their sons and daughters to share and compromise, only to be outsmarted by the majority of first graders in this regard?  I understand feeling passionate heat behind an issue, and I'm not saying that people should have to or are even capable of understanding their counter's viewpoint in it's entirety; they feel that way for a reason.  But can't we connect to the idea that if we're so passionately heated about our own viewpoints, that there's just the slightest chance that they're as passionate about their own?  We form our opinions based off of our experiences and beliefs; through the filters that we view the world and the colors we've been painted with.

I also understand the desire to dismiss someone's argument because that's how someone "feels," when you build your arguments on facts.  I'm a fact builder.  Everyone guy I've dated has ended an argument with "that's just how I feel."  And there isn't shit I could do about it.  Politics is personal for some people, and not for others.  Both approaches are extremely valuable.  Furthermore, their are logical arguments behind both platforms.  That's why they've risen as the most dominant voices in the country.

Here's a great example from Aaron Sorkin on what an argument of facts vs. emotions can look like.  My friend showed me this a couple of weeks ago, and I'm obsessed with it.

I didn't include this clip because I care about Aaron Sorkin's thoughts on gay marriage.  I included it because I haven't seen an actual political discussion IN THE REAL WORLD this well crafted in my life time.  In fact, I don't know if I've truly seen a political DISCUSSION in my life time.  Just spin rooms full of hot air attacks giving guests two minutes to defend themselves.

One of my favorite parts of this clip is that towards the end, Jeff Daniel's character, Will McAvoy, even concedes that he learned a lesson while maintaining his argument.  Can you imagine a politician conceding that he learned something from an opposing viewpoint, or was even wrong, outside the throws of a political scandal?

I would hope that the people actually trying to help our country could be even more civil than this, but I'm too smart to hope for the unrealistic.

I'm not trying to stir up a political firestorm with this blog, I'm just trying to deflate the political milieu injected into our minds and/by the media.

lI'm about as moderate as you get.  I'm fiscally conservative because I think I should get to choose what I want to do with the money I spend, but if I had the money, I'd donate it to some liberal programs.  I'm straight edge, but I really don't give a shit if anyone else smokes weed.  I balance how I feel and what I think, and choose my political views based on that.  I don't try and change anybody's mind when I share my views, and I don't think anyone is stupid for thinking differently than I do.*

During Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity, he noted the traffic that people were enduring on the way to this rally.  He said that even with the infuriating state of anger induced by traffic, each driver was still getting to their desired destination, because they were all letting each other go one car at a time.  Politics is not a world of problem solving.  It is a world of striving to filibuster the opposing. 

I stay informed. I vote.  But politics sickens me.  We need a dialogue, but we get opinionated monologues that are given in a vacuum without the slightest opening of the speaker's mind.  That maybe, JUST maybe, they could contribute something.  Maybe they didn't have enough inspirational "Your mind is like a parachute" posters when they were younger.

Please shut up and vote.
-k


*Except for morons who say that a woman's body shuts down when she is raped. 

"prepare for a series of comfortable miracles"

she looked like an employee from American Eagle restocking merchandise, but she was just sifting through my collection of wrestling shirts to wear to her and her brother's first ever WWE event.  her brother had gotten tickets to a wrestling house show for his birthday, which thanks to his invite ultimately ended up being a gift for me as well.  as he patiently waited for his sister to select a shirt from the array of merchandise that i toted from Manhattan to Allentown, i realized that my interest in the WWE is teetering on obsession. 

the more I apply it to real life, the more I realize that teetering is a generous verb.

one of my favorite wrestling terms is "kayfabe."  Kayfabe is basically the suspension of disbelief, or the ability to make a fictional scenario feel real. it's how well the wrestling world tinkers with/plays within the rules of the imaginary world that we're buying into. it's largely determined by a performer's ability to commit to his/her character, regardless of whether he is the "good guy" (face) or "bad guy" (heel).  even if he/she is getting kicked in the face.  for kayfabe to really show up, the characters involved have to fully uphold their beliefs, and not acknowledge whether they are applying them for "good" or for "bad."  they simply have to be them.

in a world where consequences and rewards are scripted and beliefs are laid out on a storyboard, it's still a very finicky concept to master.  in life, where character is formed, not written, and contexts are inevitable, and not predetermined, it gets even trickier.

WWE fans, marks, and haters alike are hungry to uphold kayfabe.  we want who we are and the roles that we play to be so clearly defined that we can articulate it--even boast about it--on a microphone to thousands of people, and we want to be proud of it.  we want our every and every move to be such a genuine and direct link to our character that they dismiss our need to maintain appearances and thwart inescapable looming judgements.  we want to be unaffected by whether our outcomes make us the "good guy" or the "bad guy."  we want to acknowledge that our greatest strengths and weaknesses make us vulnerable to either, but that we don't care.  we want our decisions to be born in a vacuum, and to never doubt whether or not our reactions are aligned with our character.  we want to be this unchained from hesitation, reluctance, fear, and distrust in ourselves. we want to be this certain; this connected to who we are.  we love self-discovery, but we really love the security in a script.

there's something that has always floated in the cloud of my own character. it's been coming to fruition with more and more clarity. 

relentless devotion.

i know 25 is a bit young to be feeling my mortality, so i hope this isn't as grim as it sounds, but we don't have a lot of time here.  we're blessed with this one life (that we know of) and we get one chance at it.  i'm young, but i have a lot of yesterdays in my rearview, and i know it's important to make plans, but the future is only a conversation. we only really have now.

so, i've decided that if i could define my kayfabe with anything, it would be to authentically approach every layer of my life as if it's vocational.  this is my oath to myself.  i know injecting this much zeal into my daily life, and up-keeping the areas it's already present in will be exhausting, but i also know that it makes possibilities infinite and dreams operational.  it also makes the huge volume of these desires less daunting and more opportunistic and achievable. commanding this perception makes me unmesswithable.  there isn't a lot that i can't control, but i know that if i grip what i can control with unwavering ferocity, the uncharted will fall into place or render itself inconsequential.

i will be a machine of victory, and my losses will come without regret.  nobody will defeat me because they are better, faster, stronger, more passionate, more dedicated, or more committed than i am.

to me, it'll just be luck, and luck is for losers anyway.

-k

I Podded Dennis' Cast...Again!

Shit gets real as Dennis and I talk about influences and inspirations like Bryan Fenkart, Toby Morse, PMA and CM Punk.   Also, I go on a rant about how annoying the St. Patrick's Day parade is!

Listen here! 

try

 
i'm the one yelling my head off two people to the right of the mic.
            photo courtesy of the brilliant Chris Roque!
               www.ChrisRoque.com, @ChrisRoque 
..but you can't bring me down
                                  -Everready, H2O

i finally remembered that i had to pick up soy milk.  i live with my sister and we go through soy milk like it's (thick, thicker than...) water because of our love of Rice Chex and the constant lack of anything else in our refridgerator.  she had bought the last 8-9 (hundred) gallons, and just as my weary, post-weight lifting arm cleared fresh gym sweat from my brow, endorphins cleared my mind long enough to remember that i had to run to the corner deli before i collapsed in my chair to watch WWE Raw.

with an intentional stride past my apartment and onward to the Christmas tree stand on my street corner, my eyes glowed with happiness like the lights that would soon adorn the naked trees i was walking towards.  this sweet, holiday magic was quickly soured by a criminal scrooge, armed with mace and a desire to steal my phone.  as he made a threatening (and public) grab for my things, i blocked him, screamed, and elbowed him really hard in the rib cage.  a friendly doorman and cinematic couples walking their dogs through Christmas paradise quickly came to my aid as he ran and i stood paralyzed in shock.

he didn't manage to rob me of anything and i only felt robbed of my safety for a short time.  but he did mace me, which left behind an orange residue and a brutal burn that blanketed my skin, only cured by water, air, and time.  the pain followed me to the police station. and then to the hospital.  and then to a wicked shower that dripped with a new stream of pain as i tried to wash it away, and new combinations of swear words that bounced off of the bathroom tile as i shouted them.

the following hours of exquisite pain and days of paranoia were caused by a split-second attack that was over almost as quickly as i forget a lesson that i love to relearn: trust. the damn. universe. and yourself.
 
we can work what problems in our control and learn to let go and accept what is not in our control.  furthermore, don't be plagued by negativity and waste your mental energy on what you can't change.  i write about this concept ad nauseum, because we can't escape it and i believe it's at the core of what happiness boils down to.  but i don't think i've placed enough weight how powerful perception can be in this equation.

i walked away from this attack feeling so thankful.  for my instincts, my support system, the NYPD officers that helped me, that i still felt so safe in my neighborhood, that the pain inflicted from being maced was temporary, that none of my possessions were stolen, that my assailant will likely be caught.  and for so much more.

i could have let the emotional pain engulf me the same way the scalding sensation ignited my skin.  as i laid in bed coping with the post-mace heat, i could have let my mind burn with fear, with doubt, with self-pity, with anger, with what-ifs.  i could chalk it up to big bad New York City and move.  i could lock myself in my apartment after dark.  i could wonder what-if i had just gone home, or had my phone tucked away, or had taken the bus instead of the train, or hadn't been slacking on groceries so many weeks before?

but what a pity to have not gone through this little hell and not out of the flames better for it.  i don't ignore the fear and i don't hide my anger, but to me this is proof that when i'm faced with such a test, blessings rain down on me.  showering myself with anything less than gratitude would be such a disservice.  this perception is a choice.  i choose not to swim in the waves of negativity, because they are powerful and you can easily drown.

the only experience to rival this physical pain recently was the ache in all of my organs from being pinned between a barricade and a mosh pit at H2O's album release show (the day after seeing Chimara and Unearth at Starland Ballroom).  the difference is that pain was AWESOME.

i found H2O working for my college radio family at WSOU and rekindled my love with their music (and tattoos) when i found out he was good friends with WWE professional wrestler and fellow S.E.O.G. CM Punk.  the band is fronted by Toby Morse, and if you aren't drawn to him, you're allergic to inspiration.  he is a mastermind behind embracing a Positive Mental Attitude (PMA).  his lyrics, attitude, and soul don't bury or ignore human hurt, but it rips out their silver linings and turns them into shining overlays.  his outlook impacted me far more than any cowardly attempt at a robbery.  we can't control what heartbreak we encounter, but we can choose the path where we struggle the least; the path that steers us away from self-pity and towards transformative knowledge.  we have to power not to be haunted.

like the pain that danced on my skin, emotional pain is often unprovoked, undeserved, and may linger.  it's up to us to wash it away.

-k.