this post doesn't matter, and that's cool.

it doesn't. not today. that's not to say that this post is meaningless.  i think that it means something.

but it doesn't matter. neither do our thoughts, feelings, or opinions.  none of our outrageous tweets, or political Facebook posts.  none of our anger, none of our sympathy, none of our beliefs.  not in this context, not right now.

can we connect to the idea that that's okay?

it doesn't matter because 12 people in Aurora, Colorado needlessly died at the hands of a heartless criminal.

acts so heinous spark a variety of reactions.  people are compelled to use their voice when such an exquisite evil is present, even when they're not directly linked to it.  i'm not one of them, except for this very writing.

my aim was a bit off today.  an account on Twitter noted that Aurora was trending, and the brand assumed it was do to the popularity of one of their products, never checking to see why.  as a human being and a publicist, i was bewildered.  how could this brand be so careless as to either exploit this tragedy or not fact check?  i tweeted about it in anger. because that's what we do on Twitter.

and then i deleted that angry tweet because it doesn't fucking matter. that account's misstep and my anger have nothing to do with the horror of what happened in Colorado, and contribute nothing to the healing process. 

similarly, it doesn't matter if we think gun control would have made a difference.  it doesn't matter if we think religion may have played a role.  it doesn't matter if we think news organizations not referring to the shooter as a terrorist is a racial issue. it doesn't matter who tweeted what.  it doesn't matter if he was possessed or mentally ill.  this is simply us generating noise that demeans what does matter.  i hate that i fed into it, even if momentarily.

it's meaningless because it doesn't undo the hideous crime. it doesn't bring back those lost. it doesn't comfort the friends and families of the victims. it doesn't bring justice.

(if you're going to argue that we need these debates as a healthy way to create preventive measures for the future, i understand.  but the people who are genuinely committed to that understand know that there are outlets for these measures, and none of them are social media.  they'll also be the ones still trying to make a difference a month from now rather than having their first in the air and their head in the sand, in the lyrics of Billy Joel).

the onion wrote a controversial and upsettingly true article about how America can predict how this will unfold based off of what's become the formula of previous tragedies.  it notes that we know that (and when) the sadness, anger, and outrage will end, and we will move on almost as if it didn't happen.  except of course for those who were directly impacted.

and we do, and we should.  as untrue as it may seem, the hideous actions are already in the past.  there is a level of reverence and fear (and a relentless hounding by the media) that will keep them in our present for a short while.

on Colt Cabana's The Art of Wrestling podcast, CM Punk noted that we have the ability to manage our sadness to an extent, saying "if you're bummed, go do something you like to do."  for many of us, this will be the next step.  we will get bummed thinking and hearing about it, and then go on.  the sadness will turn merely to twinges.

then, in a year from now, we won't think about it at all.  our fiery reactions will squelch like flames do.  except for those who listen through the noise; who react by acting.

this story is going to further unfold, and the meaningless voices will grow louder. i don't mean to preach, but i do ask you to set this shit aside. keep what matters in mind.

because they'll reveal that the shooter listened to a Hatebreed or something (i do, and never killed anyone), or watched violent television (WWE fan, never attempted a Codebreaker) or that his adolescence was less than cinematic (who the fuck's isn't?) and that he had faded copies of terrifying writings he stowed away in a worn out shoebox under his bed.  and none of that will matter either.  celebrate the heroes who risked their lives for strangers--who dismissed their own injuries to lessen the wounds of someone else.  refuse to be governed by fear or the media.

it's perfectly natural to fall apart in the wake of something like this, but when putting ourselves back together, we should do it with the pieces that matter.

act. help.

maybe then this blog will mean something.
-k

CLICK HERE TO MEAN SOMETHING.


"there's blood on the street today, but no more than there was yesterday.  have we really learned anything? or are we just doomed to hit rewind--and hit rewind--and play?" -Bryan Fenkart, When We Were Young

new dog, old tricks.

did you know that toothpaste can dry out acne? it's one of the oldest remedies in the book. so after sinking way too much money into dermatalogist after dermatologist--after taking on so many antibiotics i thought i would be immune to bacteria itself--after countless gels and creams and sample sized bags, trying to cure the physical reminder of my teenage years that muscled it's stubborn way into adulthood--the best i got is colgate.

and it worked. the oldest trick in the book worked, which makes me wonder what my grandparents have hiding up their sleeves.

sometimes the oldest tricks in the book do work, which is probably how they were published in 'the oldest tricks: volume one' anyway. average life problems are inevitable, to what degree you are hurt varies. nobody escapes unscathed, so we must derive remedies to these issues.

therapy. tears. booze. chocolate. the gym. the traditional remedies to the most common problems, and many of the rare ones too. healing is a tricky process because we can often do more damage in our alleged repair. there is a fine and blurry line between treating the problem head on and simply addressing the symptoms that appear. is the midst of pain, this line can appear indecipherable. but even when the line is crafted in the clearest of crystals, we don't want to yank out the problem by it's root. we would rather wipe down the dirty surface and clean up what is easy. sometimes, this is a permanent mindset. other times, it is the first step in a long climb up our myriad of issues to dealing with 'the real thing.'

as i transition into this so called 'next-phase-of-my-life,' i've been finding myself in a bit of an emotional hurricane, with winds of my future swirling and stepping stones of my past raining down on me. i am caught in the eye of the storm, with neither the preceding rain or wind metaphor applicable to my every day routine. the hope of course is that this is temporary, and that the winds of my future with settle to calm breezes of an employed present, and my past washing away into puddles of previous success. but until then, i am in flux, in transition, and my head is driving forward in chaos mode. the only way to treat the problem is patience, job interviews, and taking care of myself. which i just decided to really start doing today. until then, i can only treat the symptoms. last night i did so by drowning in copious amounts of chips, cucumbers, and brownies on top of making less educated but more correct guesses than good friends about WWE summer slam.

and that works until the interview that is supposed to pan out eventually does.

-k.