advice. but to who?

one of my younger cousin's has an upcoming retreat. my aunt asked her to write letters of guidance and advice to her. as i was developing a broad but hopefully relatable definition of faith, i was wondering just who i was really giving advice to? here is the letter i wrote to her--and inadvertently to myself

being 21 is very different than being your age. however, one thing that remains the same through out high school and college is constant change and growth. i remember being in high school and going on retreats. i remember rolling my eyes at the ice breaker games and feeling like the activities the group leaders presented were infused with the same things we hear every Sunday at church. but as time goes on, i am sure you will discover what i did. faith is what binds us together. faith is not contained within the walls of church—it is a test, a belief, and a skill.

faith means more than believing in God. faith is easy to have until life gets difficult—then it becomes a test. but it’s a test you cannot fail. it never goes away, and it seems to prove most valuable when you are doubting it. i guess even if you lose faith, you can always get it back. unlike many of my stupid finals that i have this week, there is always a make up exam. when everything feels overwhelming, which it will at times if it doesn’t already, find peace within faith instead grappling with the wrestlessness. you don’t have to search for peace, it already has a home within your faith and yourself. it’s just a matter of having the courage and direction to find it.

faith is also a belief. it is a vehicle of self discovery—a route to who we are. it’s how we recover when others hurt us. it helps us think. it helps us grow. it’s our personal autobiographical story. so when you are fighting with your brother or parents—which I am sure you never do—or you have a broken heart—or your friends have too much drama to handle, remember that faith doesn’t fight you unless you fight it. faith carries no drama or baggage. and faith mends broken hearts, it doesn't hurt them worse.

faith is also a skill. faith is most effective when we apply it—usually this means having faith in yourself. faith is doing things on your own agenda rather than that of your peers. unless of course these two agree—which they may. faith is standing up for yourself when someone is disrespectful. faith is keeping the bigger picture in mind, and helping others with each chance you get. it’s realizing that your safety comes ahead of having dangerous fun. it’s simply taking who you genuinely are and applying that within your life. your daily life and faith are more intertwined than you may think. it’s not just an hour long exercise on sundays it’s going to take a while to figure that out how faith works and who you are. in fact, i have a theory that we never fully figure ourselves out. otherwise, how boring is that? but there are certain values that will become a part of you. and that is something i am sure that i can promise.

faith certainly isn’t the only thing that you and i have in common. high school and college are both rollercoaster rides. and although it may not seem like it, there will come a point where you won’t ever wish a single day of it away.

-k.